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Although my parents are encouraging me to do well and hang round with their sort of people i.e. snobs and goody goodys that read the Guardian I have been hanging round local bad boys . I was shagging this tosser called Mark whenever I could for about 4 weeks and we even said we were girlfriend and boyfriend although I hid it from my parents but I had an argument with Mark one evening cause he was acting like a complete jerk and for some reason I didn’t find it funny on that evening. He told me he was fucking off with his mates and he left me on my own in the pub. I was going to finish off my drink and go after him but I thought fuck it. I went over to this lad called Jay who was at the bar. I kind of knew him a bit from school He was in the year above me till he got excluded in Year 9 Jay is looking fucking fit in roughed up old adidas trackies, and fake lacoste top. By the end of the night a few beers had been sunk and he was telling me about all the times that him and his mates had. That night mom and I, alone in my room, talked about it. "Face it Janet, you all know how you sound, they were very excited about your music and have started to plan your career for you. Doing this is still your choice of course and we will support you if you decide to decline, but you need to think long range." I didn't know what she meant, which must have showed on my face. "What I mean is, all of the advertising, videos, labels and covers, plus touring and live performances all mean one thing. You'll have to live as a girl full time anyway, for ten years at least, and living as a woman will certainly be easier on you if you do this won't it?" I said nothing and mom left me to ponder the question. In the morning, when I woke, I had made the decision to do it. As I looked around my room I saw my bra, skirt and blouse, the heels and my makeup, none of which boys usually had in their rooms. I also knew that rather than just tolerating the clothes, I was beginning to understand that.
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